5 Things to Consider When Choosing a Midwife
Author: Johanna Tonn-Straavaldsen
We have written about the role that midwives play in perinatal care in Germany and the fact that choosing a midwife is often one of the first rites of passages that pregnant women* in Germany go through. But it can often feel like a chaotic and confusing process. You may find yourself with a list of names of local midwives with no real idea where to start. Or you may have been advised by a caregiver or friend but still unsure if a particular midwife is a good fit for you.
So how do you decide whether a midwife is a good fit for you and your family? And what are additional considerations that you may want to make as an international woman* in Germany when choosing a midwife or other birth worker, such as a doula?
To get you started, we have put together five questions to ask yourself when choosing a midwife or doula in Germany.
Does this person put me at ease?
How you feel with the person that will be supporting you in the vulnerable times of pregnancy, birth, and/or postpartum is so, so important. When you trust and feel comfortable with the person supporting you, it is easier to be open with your questions, concerns, and emotions. When you feel judged or like you can’t be yourself, it is more likely that you won’t feel comfortable asking questions or reaching out for help when it is needed.So check in with yourself. Do you find yourself asking all of your questions or do you hold back? Does your body feel relaxed when you are with this person? Can you imagine sharing all of what you are feeling including challenging emotions?
2. Is this person sensitive to cultural differences in perinatal care?
Cultural differences in care may be big or small but are almost always there when giving birth in a culture that is not your own. Sometimes it is possible to anticipate what differences in practices or expectations might arise but other times, you may not even be aware that you have an expectation or belief until you are faced with an opposing cultural practice. For this reason, it is important that your midwife or other care provider is culturally sensitive and able to support families with differing cultural norms around pregnancy, birth, and infant care.
You can bring this into your initial conversation with a provider by asking whether about her experiences working with other international families and how open she is to cultural differences. You could also discuss a specific cultural practice and get her feedback. Having a clear conversation about her cultural competence gives you an opportunity to assess whether she is a good fit and helps to ensure that you get the respectful care that you deserve.
3. Is this person going to be able to support my emotional health as well as my physical health?
Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum are not just physiological processes but include big emotional transitions as well. Mothers* are healthiest and at lower risk for postpartum mood disorders when they are supported by people who care for their emotional health alongside their physical health. Midwives who ask questions about how a mother* is coping, take the time to truly listen, and are knowledgeable about postpartum mood disorders are such an important part of the network of support for women*. So consider asking questions about how a care provider might handle a situation in which a postpartum mother* is struggling emotionally just like you would ask questions about how a provider might support other aspects of postpartum care, like providing breastfeeding assistance. Assess whether the provider seems well-versed in the topics of postpartum depression and anxiety, how well connected she is to other professionals who can support women who are struggling, and whether she gives emotional health the same priority that she gives physical health and recovery.
4. Does this person support my decisions and values both in terms of my care and the care of my baby?
Midwives are experts in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum and infant care, no doubt about it. They are a wealth of knowledge thanks to their extensive training and experience. There can be, however, situations in which a midwife’s recommendations differ from the values and or decisions of a family. It is in these situations when the partnership between the care provider and the family is so important so that families can express their values and beliefs and get the respectful feedback of the provider.
Consider what your values are and whether there are specific decisions about your or your baby’s care that you feel strongly about. Talk about these openly with your provider and feel out her response. Do you feel listened to? Does it feel like a dialogue in which you are both able to share your perspective? Does your midwife distinguish between those things that are critical to your or your baby’s health and those that are simply preferences or common practices?
5. Is this person able to support me in a language that I feel comfortable in?
Depending on what language you speak and where you live, it may or may not be possible to find a midwife who can support you in the language of your choice. That said, if possible, a midwife who can speak your mother* tongue is an invaluable resource in the sensitive (and often sleep deprived!) time after birth, even if you speak German.
Many of the online midwife directories include the ability to search by languages spoken. Another option is to speak with friends or other speakers of your language to see who they have worked with. If you can’t find a midwife who speaks your mother tongue, is there a doula or other trusted person who could help with translation? Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Communication challenges are a common challenge for international mothers* but they shouldn’t get in the way of good care in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
It can feel like a scramble to find a midwife, especially if you live in an area that has a midwife shortage. But that doesn’t mean that you need settle for someone who is not right for you. You deserve to have caring, attentive, culturally competent care as you do the important work of nurturing your baby in their early days and weeks.
You might also enjoy reading:
The International Mom*’s Guide to Finding Support in Germany